A Safe Place

Safe Places 

I've been thinking a lot about "Safe Places."

A Safe Place is where you can trust and be trusted.  A Safe Place is where you are valued and respected as an individual and for your thoughts and feelings.  In a Safe Place you are willing to take risks because you know you are supported.  In a Safe Place you feel comfortable asking questions.  A Safe Place is nurturing, encouraging you to explore and grow and letting you know that you are loved just as the person you are right now. In a Safe Place diversity of interests and life pursuits is respected and not judged.

Safe places can be geographical or a relationship.  I have relationships and friendships which are safe places and I have a few which are not.  In a safe relationship I feel free to be transparent in all aspects of my thoughts and life knowing that I will be valued in my thoughts and choices even is the other person sees an aspect of life very differently.

Children must have safe places to thrive cognitively, emotionally, socially, and even physically.

Today I read with 25 5th graders.  One I have known since I started volunteering in the school 6 years ago.  He was a bright, very kind Kindergartner.  I know he lives in a rough home as I have observed family interactions.  I was so sad when I listened to him read and stumbled to pronounce words--even simple words and when he was unable to give me details about the passage he had just read.  Again I thought about safe places and wondered where he would be cognitively if he was growing up in a nurturing environment.


Here are a few questions on my mind....

How is a Safe Place created?

What do you do if school is not a safe place for your child?

Is this why some parent's choose to homeschool?  When you can't ensure an emotionally or even physically safe place.

When a child cannot be in a safe place, we can help them find or develop a safe place in their own heart and mind.  How do we do this?

What tools do children have to tell us if they do not feel safe someplace?  Then how do you prepare them if they have to go back?


I think I'll take my time answering these questions for myself and my children....

What are your thoughts on creating Safe Places for children?

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Waiting For Superman....

Matt and I went to see a startling documentary on the state of public education in America last night.

Waiting For Superman is a must see.

www.waitingforsuperman.com

I love Autumn!

I love Autumn! 

Waking up to a slight chill, crisp local apples, pumpkins, cornstalks, garden harvest, flaming trees and mountainsides, shorter days, yummy squash....a few of the thinks which make Autumn my most favorite season of all!

What's not my favorite?  Changing out the Summer clothes for the Fall clothes for my children. 

Actually, sweaters, jackets, jeans, boots, mittens.....are my personal favorite wardrobe.  Growing up in Texas I would look at illustrations in picture books of children in sweaters and boots raking leaves and feel frustrated that I was still wearing shorts!

BUT....when you are the mother of a child (or two) with Sensory Integetration Disorder (SID), the change of wardrobe from summer to fall, or fall to winter, or winter to spring.... (see the pattern!) it is hard.  Feeling sensitive in your skin is not only true for SID kids, but SID kids feel everything much more instensly. 

The seems and "squeeze" of the socks, the tightness of the shoes which have replaced crocs or sandals, the "bunchy" way the long sleeve of your shirt inch up when you put on a sweater or jacket, the feel of the jeans or long pants on your legs can leave a child in a heap on the floor in the morning before school.

This is why my son shared with me today that he doesn't mind if rain or snow get into the little holes in his crocs.  He plans to wear them all Fall and Winter.  This is why my daughter and son leave the house in 40 degree weather with no jacket as they tell me that they really like to be cold.  This is why my husband and I have been cutting out the tags of all new clothing because it itches their skin too much.  This is why I have not put away the shorts or short sleeves yet....we are gradually weening them off.  Perhaps I will not have time to do the laundry for the next few weeks....and the summer clothes will just disappear. 

This is why I have researched the softest, most comfortable clothing lines.  This is why I can't buy my children's shoes at Target or Pay Less.  This is why occasionally there are articles of clothing or shoes which never get worn more than once. (Fortunately I have two other kids without SID, who get the hand-me-downs!)

So, I still do LOVE Fall, but I know that it comes with a price!

Who is the barometer of our home.....today?

Sometimes I know within the first 3 minutes of a morning what type of a day it will be.  The body language, the tone of voice, the words spoken to a sibling, to my husband, to me all help me assess in moments how the day will go.

Children act as barometers.

A barometer is a scientific instrument used to measure atmospheric pressure. It can measure the pressure exerted by the atmosphere by using water, air, or mercury. Pressure tendency can forecast short term changes in the weather.  (Wikipedia)

As a barometer children can measure the pressure which a family is experiencing.  That pressure can come from mulitple sources in a family.  The unique point of a child acting as a barometer is that often it is the family's response to that very child's temperment or needs which is placing the most pressure on the family which in turn forecasts the tone of the home.

I heard it said recently that you are only as happy as your saddest child.  Well, if that is true most days I may not be very happy.

Children--especially sensitive, spirited, high need children-- are the barometers of our families.  They tend to be highly perseptive and sensitive to their physical and emotional surroundings, and this sensitivity often manifests through their behaviors and attitudes.  We may be quick to repremand, roll our eyes and match our child's mood; or, when we take a moment to think, we may realize that their initial approach to the day may be directly linked to something happening in our family, our home or at school.